Do you feel like you have to yell to get your students’ attention?  What about around the end of the year or special days when their energy level is high?  Or are you a homeschool preschool mom who sometimes gets frustrated with your little one?  Here’s some ideas you may not know about (or might need reminded of) that can help make those preschoolers listen when you talk!

(This post contains affiliate links to products I have personally tried and love!)

How to Make Your Preschoolers to Listen Without Yelling

Stay Positive

The way you phrase your directions can actually make a big difference!

For example, instead of saying, “Do NOT run in here!”  Try saying, “Use you walking feet.”    And instead of “Don’t put that in your mouth,” say, “Take that out of your mouth.”

The key is telling the child exactly what you DO want them to do.

When you tell them what NOT to do, their little brains just hear “RUN” and you’re less likely to get the behavior you’re looking for.  Or sometimes, they may not be able to come up a better solution on their own.

Try being specific and telling the child exactly what behavior you want to see.

Here’s a great book about loving discipline if you want to read more about a lot of the ideas I mention in this post.

Keep Your Cool

Remember that every time a child isn’t being obedient, it’s an opportunity to teach.  You can’t actually make preschoolers listen, but you can teach them about why what they’re doing isn’t a good idea and help them make a better choice.

Kids can really pick up on body language and tone.  So it’s important that you stay calm and use a normal voice level even when you’re frustrated.

If your emotions are high, chances are your kid is going to be more upset, too (though I’m sure we all can think of some exceptions, ha!).

But think about it, when one or two kids get wound up, it’s not long before the whole group is ready to bounce off the walls.  It’s your job as the adult to bring that calm and focused tone for the kids.

Maybe you’re one of those people with a naturally loud voice?  I’d really suggest working on your own “inside voice.”  I’ve been in some preschool classrooms where kids work and play quietly.  But I’ve also seem some where the noise level is overwhelming at all times of the day.

Part of that is because of the tone (calm, inside voice level, focused) the teacher models and asks for.

Part of making preschoolers listen is making sure they can actually hear you!  A child won’t be able to hear you if your classroom is too loud and crazy.

→ Read this post for information on how to set up an awesome preschool classroom!

Set Routines

When you get your classroom on a set schedule and set up routines for all your daily tasks, your kids will get into a habit and it will lead to a lot less misbehavior!

I recently read this book about habits and learned just how deeply habits are formed in our brains.  Even people who have experience brain damage can still perform certain tasks just from habit – even if they don’t know why or couldn’t consciously tell you how.

So that means that we can make our preschoolers listen just by asking them to do the same thing the same way every day. Maybe that means hanging up their coat, washing their hands, then taking their seat.  Once the habit becomes established, it’ll rarely be forgotten and there will be much fewer misbehaviors during this time, as well.

What else can we apply this concept to?  We can teach our students to raise their hand for a turn to speak.  This is great practice for kindergarten!  It also helps quiet the tone of your classroom.  And it’s definitely a habit they can learn.

We can also set routines for different parts of the day that will work in the same way.  You can set a certain amount of time before alternating learning centers, and use the same timer and time limit every day.  This will help make the transition easier on the students, because they know what to expect.

In the same way, a daily schedule has a big effect!  The day is more likely to flow smoothly when the schedule is the same every day and the students know what to do next.

Here’s some schedule cards you might be interested in to help you establish your daily schedule!

Get On Their Level

When you need to talk to a child one on one, yelling from across the room is almost guaranteed to be ineffective unless you’ve already established a solid relationship and consequences.

Instead, go over to the child or ask them to come to you.  Get down at their eye level.  Ask them to look at your eyes.  Then when you have their undivided attention, tell them what you need to tell them.  Explain what you need them to do, and why.

I am amazed by preschoolers who won’t look me in the eye when I talk to them!

It’s because they know they’ve made a mistake and are afraid to hear about it.  But it’s important to get this connection when you talk to a child, because the body language connection is part of what helps direct their behavior.

I think that this is a big part of making preschoolers listen and can change the whole relationship with your students.

When they can look you in the eye and see your firm body language, they’ll know you mean business when you ask them to cooperate.

Make Preschoolers Listen by Teaching Responsibility

There’s a few ways you can build responsibility in your classroom.

Job Chart

Do you have a job chart?  Using a job chart is a great way to keep your students busy and teach them responsibility.  It also takes some of the pressure off of you to do everything!

It’s amazing what young children are capable of when we give them the opportunity.

Just remember to teach them how to do their job the right way.  They may not already know!  Also, give lots of praise for a good try or job well done!

Encourage Helping

Don’t feel like you have to do everything because you’re the teacher.  Asking capable students to help friends is an awesome way to foster community and teach about a host of social skills!

So next time a friend needs help zipping their coat, encourage them to ask a friend to help.

It’s okay to ask for help, right?  Let’s teach our preschoolers that!

Not only will one student practice asking for help when it’s needed, but another friend has the opportunity to show kindness.

Make Them Accountable

If a child makes a mess, they are usually capable of cleaning it up, too.

So if a child decided to color all over the table with marker, give them soap and water and have them clean up their own mess.  When a kid spills their milk, ask them to get paper towels and clean it up.

This is a great life lesson for them!

Set Boundaries

Eventually, there will come a point when a child tests their limits and pushes too far.  You need to have clear boundaries that are the same all the time.  If the rules change from day to day, there’s bound to be chaos in your classroom.

And like I said earlier, you can’t actually make preschoolers listen.  There’s going to be misbehavior.  It’s how they learn their limits.  But when the child does step over the line, they need a consequence to hold them accountable for their actions.

Set Consequences

Consequences might differ by situation and child. For example, a child who runs in the classroom.  What’s a good consequence?

For one child or the first offense, a reminder to walk might be all they need.

Another child might trip and fall.  That’s called a natural consequence and they can be great teachers!

But another child might need you to take a moment to get on their level and explain why we need to walk in the classroom.

And yet another child who has been asked and knows why we need to walk in the classroom might need a firm consequence like time out.

You should always try to use other ways to manage behavior before time out.  Try using a positive approach to redirect the behavior.  Don’t forget to get on the child’s level and speak firmly (but not yelling).  Help them think out a better choice.

But when all that has been done and the child knows he’s misbehaving, it’s time for a time out.

How to Use Time Out

When you use time out, pick a spot that has few distractions and can be used all the time.

Set a timer for as many minutes as years the child is old (3 minutes for a 3 year old).  Every time the child gets up, place them back on time out and reset the timer.

There’s no need to keep telling them over and over what they are doing wrong at this point.  Trust me, they know!

When the timer finishes and they’ve sat for the whole 3, 4, or 5 minutes, THEN you can have a talk about the poor choices they made, what they can do better next time, and how they can fix their mistake now (maybe apologies are in order, or cleaning up a mess they made).

The reason you talk at the end of time out and not the beginning is because you’re way more likely to make your preschoolers listen after they’ve already decided to show some self control and have calmed down.

Making Preschoolers Listen Without Yelling

Did you learn anything from this post?  Was it a nice refresher?  I hope it was helpful for you! Please comment below with any questions or comments about what I can add to this post to help other teachers and moms too!

I’ve learned most of the information in this post through time and experience, but I’m also a big reader and I love this book by Becky Bailey!

This book pulled together all of my ideas about discipline that I wanted to keep from how I was raised, what I learned in college about classroom management, AND what I learned as an adult about healthy mental processes. I highly recommend it!  I reread it probably every year just for a refresher.  It’s that good!